Conflicts Resolution Using Fair Fighting Rules and Win-Win Approach

Question

Instructions

1. What makes this stand out to you? How can you use it in learning more about yourself? Or others? How can being able to identify emotions be helpful? You can address how you can apply this to real life, challenges you have had around this topic, or goals you are working on to improve in this area. 

A. Conflict- Fair Fighting Rules(PLS READ ATTACHMENT)

B. Win Win Solutions-2

WIN-WIN Approach to Conflict Resolution

*I believe the win-win approach is the ideal, however, we cannot always achieve this.  For example, when you have two opposing ideas you really may have to compromise in some way.  Your text and many of these articles talk about compromise as a bad thing.  I disagree.  We don’t always need to get what we want.  For example, what we ‘want’ may not be good for us or our relationship.  And, sometimes giving up something in order to work towards compromise may be a great thing for the relationship and even the person who ‘compromised’. 

Check out this brief explanation of the Win-Win Negotiation (Links to an external site.) approach to conflict resolution.

Handling Conflicts in a Cooperative, Win-Win Manner

Read about constructive problem solving in your textbook and about cooperative and integrative conflict approach at the Psychological Self-Help (Links to an external site.) website. Consider the following conflict scenarios:

1.   Sarah and Desidra have lived together harmoniously for a year. One day, Desidra brings home a new puppy, and Sarah is upset because she does not want to deal with the mess or care of this new animal. Sarah decides to approach Desidra about the problem.

2.   Pedro and Roxanne are married and have just had a new baby. Pedro is a smoker, and Roxanne is worried about Pedro smoking around the baby. She decides to approach Pedro about the problem. Pedro states that he is not willing to quit smoking.

3.   Malik and Mario have been good friends and employees of equal status, until recently when Malik was promoted to a supervisor position. Malik is now in charge of supervising Mario’s work. Malik has been frustrated with Mario recently because Mario brings his input and revisions to Malik a few hours before a deadline. Malik is feeling pressure from his boss to turn in good work on time, and he wants to confront Mario. However, he is also worried about ruining their friendship.

For each situation, work through the steps of collaborative, cooperative negotiation until you reach a win-win solution. Show your work for each step. Consider what each character might think, say, or do in each situation, assuming each character is convinced and willing to apply the win-win approach. Give examples of specific dialogue that might occur in the process. If necessary, make up details about each person or about the situation. How is the win-win approach and outcome different from other conflict management methods? Which parts of the process were easy? Difficult? Did you experience any blocks? Were you satisfied with the win-win approach to these conflicts? If not, how could it be improved? Would you be likely to use this method of problem-solving in your own life? Why or why not?

2. What makes this stand out to you? How can you use it in learning more about yourself? Or others? How can being able to identify emotions be helpful? You can address how you can apply this to real life, challenges you have had around this topic, or goals you are working on to improve in this area. 

Intimate Relations Attraction-2

Readings:

Factors of Attraction in Your Own Relationships

Read the online lecture “Interpersonal Attraction (Links to an external site.).” Make a list of people you are attracted to (people you like – friends, honey, potential honey, potential friends). Review the factors of attraction and make a list of which factors apply to the people on your list. In other words, why are you attracted to the people you listed? Because they are physically attractive? Similar to you? Competent? Which factors appear most on your list? Which factors appear least?

Do Opposites Attract? Not Really (Links to an external site.).

It is good to have some differences to keep a relationship fresh, but most of the data reflects that we tend to have more comfort with those we have commonalities with.  We are more likely to be attracted to those who we have more macro (large scale) similarities to such as geographic region, race, religion, socioeconomic status, education level…  We know how to ‘be’ around these people.  With our military traveling all over the world, and now a much more global system of interacting, some of these factors are changing.   

Cyber-Attraction: The Emergence of Computer-Mediated Communication in the Development of Interpersonal Relationships by Mantovani (Links to an external site.)

Abstract:  “The main goal of this chapter is the analysis of cyber-attraction: the emergence of Computer Mediated Communication (CMC) in the development of interpersonal attraction. According to recent theories and studies, it would seem that not only does CMC support emotional and intensely involving communication between people, but also that it would be characterized by and offer a specific allure, a special element that makes it so fascinating. In particular, different forms of miscommunication - implicit, say not to say, and obliquity – play an important role in this process.

Starting from this background, the chapter addresses the effects of CMC on interpersonal communication, and especially on the development of interpersonal attraction, aiming at identifying the specific features that this process has in cyberspace.

At the same time, the chapter underlines the fact that online and offline are not two separate dimensions to be dealt with separately and almost dichotomously. A broader approach to the study of interpersonal communication in CMC is needed: flexible and complex enough to account for the use of communication strategies in interaction contexts characterized by different levels of virtuality and by the presence of interfaces.”

SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY (Links to an external site.)

Why would a 21 year old model marry a 70 year old oil tycoon? If you look at this question through the social exchange theory, then each are getting something out of the relationship. The idea is that a relationship will work as long as the cost to benefit ratio is equal, or how much you are giving is equal to how much you are getting. Once you perceive you are giving more than you perceive you are getting, then the person starts preparations to leave the relationship. The young model is getting financial security from the oil tycoon. The oil tycoon is getting beauty and youth. As long as each one holds up their end, the relationship will continue.

Take a moment and write down what you would like in a mate. Now write down what you have to offer a mate. Is this a fair and reciprocal match where each of you get and give equally? If you are in a current relationship, how does your relationship fit into the social exchange theory? Is this a satisfying relationship?

Value in Friendships

Read the article Fifteen Reasons We Need Friends (Links to an external site.) and picture your closest friend. What comes to mind when you consider that person? Fun? Love? Humor? Try and distinguish how your closest friend became that way and why your relationship has lasted as it has. Identify the stage your relationship is in according to Knapp’s relational stages.