LinkedIn profile public health advisor

Question

Your summary on LinkedIn is the first thing recruiters or possible employers will see. Those first ~300

characters are also important to grab the reader's attention. You have up to 2000 characters for the

summary. 

Read this article on some good Summary tips (Links to an external site.)

Search for "good LinkedIn summaries" and go to LinkedIn and find some that you like (there will be a lot

of bad summaries, too, so know what you don't want as well).

Upload your summary here. We will give you feedback to make it even better. 

 Please use first person

 Include background (I'm a senior Health Administration student at Rutgers, The State University

of New Jersey)

 Talk about accomplishments - use those keywords!! (EMT, Reslife Director, fraternity treasurer,

etc.)

 Conclude with what you are looking to do in the future (I'm looking for jobs in hospital or

assisted living...)

 Summaries should be AT LEAST 1000 characters

This was an actual email sent to Leadership Professor Kamila Pavezzi.

1. Explain all the ways this email is unprofessional

2. Rewrite the email

Email

To: kpavezzi@ejb.rutgers.edu

From: Sexyblueeyes69@....com

Subject: <none>

Hey,

I need a huge favor from you.  I know you were the ones that organized the Health

Promotion event so if you can, could you please send me a summary of the event.  I

need information like a time line of the day, how many participants showed up,

what happened at this event, any problems you have encountered and possibly any

advice if we decide to do this event again in the future. I would really appreciate it if

you sent this to me asap.  Thanks!